What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What were Sauron's powers in The Lord of the Rings (LOTR)? Did he have any magic or anything like that?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Is love natural, or is it somehow created?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

My boss called me on a Saturday to let me know he that due to financial reasons, I was no longer needed effective immediatley. 3 days later, he sends me a text asking about work issues. How do I respond?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do Indian parents force their kids to do stuff?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What is the difference between the terms "Millennials" and "kids"?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why am I peeing so much without drinking a lot of water? I checked my blood sugar and it is normal. Could it be something else?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Trump is shot, tackled by SS agents, yet then stands, defiant, with fist high, and 52 hours later, walks into the Republican Convention to thunderous applause. Is there anything that can stop this man, who loves his country? Does he get your vote?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do some people never get to on a date even though they wanted to? Are they just too ugly and weird for everybody?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

TEXT:

What are some mind-blowing facts about Michael Jackson?

Make Nazis afraid again!